- February 21, 2020 5:00 PM
You learn the cognitive theory and practice you require to get a job at university. For theory and practice on your emotions (required to hold the job) and on your essence (required to be aware of whether you like the job), you have to go to a workshop. An HR manager said: ‘We hire people because of the knowledge and skills they have acquired. And we fire them because they don’t know how to behave …’
You don’t get a burn-out from hard working but from the feeling of not being seen in your talents and your worries, and not knowing how to cope with that.
In the workshop your cognitive brain will be satisfied, a little bit. The important part is the experience you will get with feeling and awareness.
Usually we are not very conscious of what we are doing. In our head we have an internal working model consisting of representations of the world around us, a list of abilities we have to change something (to get what we need) and a scenario planning module (to know what the impact of our behavior is). The model is unconscious and quick. Because when we are in the ‘market place’ we don’t have time to feel and to be aware of what is really happening. All the mistakes we make - due to the many errors in our model - have to be repaired later, and often it is then too late. Research shows that the model is based on the experiences we had in the first years of our live with our caretakers. So it is important to learn how to make an update, how to heal your wounds, amongst others by getting aware of your transferences and counter-transferences.